In case you don’t follow football, the Euro 2016 football tournament has truly kicked off, so to speak. That’s why there’s so many people in shorts on TV at the moment.
If, like some of the Laundrapp marketing team, you can’t tell your offside from your side-parting, then we’ve got some good news – becoming a Euro 2016 expert is easy.
In fact, all you need to do is memorize this list of 13 things to yell at the TV whenever a match is on…
- ‘They need to keep their heads down, keep their cool and score early. ‘
- ‘France are the hosts. France always do well when they host the football.’
- ‘Never write off the Germans.’
- ‘I think Belgium/Austria/Poland/Turkey/Croatia/Russia/Czech Republic/Sweden/Hungary/Iceland could be dark horses.’
- ‘They need a stern talking to in that dressing room. Nothing short of a kick up the backside.’
- ‘It all comes down to attack and defence. If they haven’t got that sorted, they may as well go home.’
- ‘They need to have some fire in their bellies – that’s what’s missing from the Insert Team Name Here ’
- ‘Their hearts aren’t in it. The boys aren’t hungry enough.’
- ‘I just love the spirit of the Irish fans.’
- ‘Unbelievable. What a display!’
- ‘The linesman doesn’t have a clue!”
- ‘What does Insert Team Manager Here think he’s doing playing Insert Player Here.’
- ‘Ref, what do you think you’re doing?!’
And after all that if you still can’t get your head round it then maybe it’s best you leave the football to everyone else. After all, it’ll be over soon.